I'll take mine unbound, please.

Until I was in my mid-20's or so, I wore a size 9 shoe. It took me about ten years to inch into a size 10. Now, in my mid-40's the past few pairs I've purchased have been a solid size 11.

I'm sure some of this can be attributed to that legendary, age-related spread. Our feet spread out. Our noses grow. Our ears get bigger. If we live long enough, we all end up looking like Jimmy Durante.

However, I really think that for many years I was wearing the wrong size. Some of that was because extra-extra-extra-extra wide shoes don't just magically appear in the stores where Normal People shop. Some of it, though, can be directly traced back to my legendary conceit. I have huge feet. I do. There was a point in my life where I didn't want people to know that, even if it caused me huge, literal pain.

I clearly remember as a teenager buying shoes because they were cute, even though they hurt like hell to wear. Seriously. How did I make it to adulthood when I was so freaking stupid as a teenager? I ask you?

I'm at the point now where my comfort easily outweighs your perception. Screw you. If you think my feet are too big, don't look at them. However, I guarantee no one thinks I have big feet. Mostly because the world at large doesn't give a shit about my feet. It's like having a zit at the end of one's nose; to us it's the size of Montana, only with more topographical detail. To the world it's not even noticed. Seriously. It's not. Get over yourself.

I'm 5'9". My Mother always told me that if I had teeny feet I would just fall forward on a constant basis. She was right. They work, they're healthy, I can walk. That's all that matters.

If you have hard-to-fit feet, there is no better place on the planet to buy shoes than www.zappos.com . It's free to mail them back if they don't fit, and they'll keep shipping new ones to you until you find the right size. I would have no shoes if it wasn't for these guys. I heart them.